Ours was not a perfect relationship. I cried most of the time when I got married. Oh yes, it wasn't the fairytale type. Not the one that I "imagined". But despite that, it was still the marriage I dreamed of. After all, my dream was to have a complete, happy family and marry the man that I love. To be with someone whom I can actually laugh with, make fun of, travel with and talk random stuff with. Someone who will agree to disagree, do things even if he (sometimes) complains and tells me I look ugly and stinky when I really do (so honest!).
Oh yes, I am with someone whom I actually LOVE and not just because he is rich and can-buy-me-stuff-that's-why-I'm-marrying-him type of guy! I know this is love because I am trying my best to adjust and be with him (most days and 90% of the time, that's his job) Haha!(: kiddin'!
I've learned a LOT during our 1st year of marriage. No, for me it was not easy at all. So I'm sharing my thoughts in this roller coaster ride I'm in which has it shares of ups and downs, swirls and turns and yes, highs and lows.
1. Marriage is TEAMWORK.
Yes! More than anything. You have to be a team player. You need to adjust, cooperate and LISTEN. It is a two-way street, you need to give and take at the same time. Like any sport, there will be times that you will get tired, so you have to PUSH one another in order to achieve your GOALS.
2. Marriage is ACCEPTANCE.
Accepting him, his past, his friends, his family, his pets, his imperfections. Everything! You have to live with it EVERYDAY. Eventually you will learn more things about him and you will either love or hate him for it. In the end, you have no choice but to accept and adjust. Like what my husband told me during one of our fights: "I'll adjust, you'll adjust."
3. Marriage means FORGIVENESS.
How I wish I was still in a BF-GF relationship wherein I can easily "break it off" whenever I'm really mad. But no, I'm already married and we have 2 wonderful kids. So breaking up is never an option (for us). But don't get me wrong, there are still times when I think I'm in a wrong relationship... What I do is I try to forgive myself. Forgive my husband for his short comings, pray and come up with a plan to make things better.
4. Should make YOU a BETTER person.
I realized that when I entered this marriage, there were a lot of CHANGES (and challenges) that I had to face. And again, it wasn't easy. But at the end of the day, these changes should (always) make you a better version of yourself. Sometimes I feel like I'm becoming a different person already, I feel lost and I don't know who I am anymore. I try to assess my life... And until now I'm still in that stage. Haha! (:
5. Should make EVERYONE HAPPY.
Committing to marriage should make YOU, your husband, kids, family, friends and the people around you happy. If not all, most of them. But I like to keep in mind that my goal and PRIORITY is to make MY family (husband, kids) happy.
In a year full of challenges, I can say that I am still in the process of learning... Discovering and adjusting.
Cheers to another year of challenges and laughter!(:
Of Love and Marriage